Ultimate Facepalm (comedy)


Rant comedy






March 2018
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Special guest John Robertson, DC’s 3D covers and Hayden Panettiere: Mars bar thief

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hello! We have a wild, rockin’ ride for you’re here!

C Bomb apologizes profusely for the fact he sounds like he’s recording in another room (when in fact he was sitting right next to the other guys).



John Robertson joins us as our very first guest on the show!

He regales his tales of starting out, gigs, The Dark Room, Supanova, Echo the Dolphin, defending the French and future shows.




There is no Chinese equivalent to “Teddy Bear”

Hayden Panettiere steals ALL the Mars bars

John’s arguable levels of success on other podcasts

Throwing offal into the crowd WILL brand you a genius

“You’re gonna be a big star the minute you cut that shit out….”

The Dark Room is coming to Edinburgh and London

We discuss porn…. Yeah, sorry….



UFP Crew Questions

-          Addressing where the light switch is

-          What Australian comedians we should be listening to


NERD NEWS! (@ 1 hour 5 mins)


The Game of Thrones internet shitstorm debacle

Benicio Del Toro signed with Marvel for a 4 picture deal

Fables from DC now entering TV development

Venture Brothers returns!

DC’s 3D covers! HOORAY!

The Purge Preview

G Money does not like the new Avengers Assemble Cartoon

X Men #1

Catwoman’s demise and then resurrection

Latest E3 appearances

Game releases for the week:

Class of Heroes 2           

Eve Online: Odyssey    


Marvel Heroes

Remember Me

The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim: Legendary Edition  

State of Decay 

Early reviews of Remember Me


Direct download: Show_56.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:21am HKT

New Dr Who, Dominos DVDs and the band that hates ears the most: Falling in Reverse

Another long one here…. Not quite 2 hours but it was close enough! So let’s get at it!


The Ultimate Facepalm Number one fan title is becoming hotly contested with some Random Fandom filmage

Ultimate Facepalm now has a youtube channel; UlitmateFacepalmUFP


Check out Australian independent horror film maker Chris Sun at www.slaughterfx.com.au

First guest ever, John Robertson will be joining us on the next podcast

UFP Crew questions

-          Idea vacations both real and fictional

-          New Dr Who

-          The Queen and her irrelevance with Australia

-          Killing heroes to save spouses

Pussy-licking on public transport

Dominos DVD’s deliciously delight douchebags

Grumpy Cat movie deal and accompanying sad cunt; Ben Lashes

New challenger to take on the reigning winner of the Mexican bad-off (Trace Cyrus with “Sippin’ on Sunshine”) with “Falling in reverse”


NERD NEWS (@ 1 hour 7 mins)

Matt Smith to leave Dr Who

M Night desperately trying to wrangle sequels to Unbreakable

Karen Gillan, John C Reilly and Glen Close latest casting drops for Guardians Of the Galaxy

James Robinson to write Namor???

Final Fantasy 9 is the gift that keeps on giving a whole 13 year later

WWE/Flintstones mish-mash of shit straight-to-video movie

Watch Dogs is looking VERY good

Xbox One trounced by PS4 in latest IGN poll

New E3 announcements

Joel McHale puts his foot down to bring back Dan Harmon

Pirates if the Caribbean 5 is a go… yay……

Direct download: Show_55.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:29am HKT

Optimus Prime Douche-truck, fat narcissists and Doctor Who: “Thunderingly Racist”

Oh dear….. It’s quite a pleasant affair here….. HAHA! Fuck that! A HUGE show here. Let’s check it out!

Channel ten doesn’t fail to disappoint with shitting on their own points and shitting out terrible programs

UFP Crew Questions

-          Justin Beiber becoming the new Chris Brown

-          “What if” scenarios involving Chrissie Swan

-          Comic books that will never be adapted into movie

-          Fave 80s movies

-          Amanda Bynes falling further and further into the deep end

-          “What if” scenario involving Disney buying DC Comics

-          Inkers involved in comics

-          Australian Urban Legends

Haley Morris-Cafiero: Fat narcissist and lonely cunt

Aaron Fotheringham rules

The Great Gatsby Review – VERY slight spoilers




Christopher Lee’s celebrates his 91st Birthday by releasing a metal album


Trask Industries revealed by Bryan Singer to be included in Days of Future Past

DC’s “Villains Month” updates/follow up titles and inclusion of David Finch

Joss Whedon summons Saoirse Ronan as The Scarlett Witch

Neil Gaiman…. ACTING via Blood Kiss Kickstarter

Jim Jarmusch’s new vampire film, Only Lovers Left Alive

Sam Mendes back on board for the next Bond film

Francesco Francavilla’s “Batspoiltation”

Damon Lindelof apologises for nothing

Optimus Prime: Fast and the Furious Douche-Truck

Doctor Who is “Thunderingly Racist”

E3 2013 anticipated releases

Shinji Mikami’s The Evil Within

Teaser trailer for Sonic: Lost World

More problems with Xbox One

Blizzard’s under wraps release

Wolfenstien reboot fans were asking for

Leprechaun reboot NO ONE was asking for

Direct download: Show_54.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:27am HKT

Marvel Vs Sony Vs Fox, Franky is SUUUUUUUUPER and WORST. QUIZ. EVER!

Messy is fun right?? Well this ep is as messy as it comes, so let’s find out…


We’re going to be at Supanova Perth! www.supernova.com.au

We ONCE AGAIN try to discover the appeal of The Hoff

Carrie Fisher and Jesse Ventura go on C Bomb’s “Benedict Arnold of Career Convenience” list

G Money’s “WORST. QUIZ. EVER!” nightmare

C Bomb’s Franky from One Piece obsession hits new retarded highs

RG Dance shut down (thank piss!)

Americans need to reign it in with their “American ‘Insert ambiguous job title here’” shows

Lawrence Mooney; Smug jar of piss, Turkish snowball and woman abuse advocate

UPF Crew questions

-          Fave album/film combos

-          UFP Karaoke songs

-          UFP self-loathing, guilty pleasures

The top music video clips of all time: Gangnam Style Vs Thriller

Fat little racist pig apologizes to Adam Goodes for calling him an “ape”

Lena Dunham blows hard against the XXX “Girls” parody

Mr Blobby house isn’t as exciting as it sounds

Cardinal Pell is in trouble as his shares in RG Dance have tanked

McDonalds Innaloo attracts sluts and now, cockroaches

We review the latest The Boxed Whine episode “Aborigine and Fitch”


NERD NEWS @ 1 hour 13 mins

HUGE Marvel Vs Sony Vs Fox shit-fight

Comic reviews

-          Green Latern #20: Four-issue in one final for Jeff Johns

-          Daredevil #26

-          Young Avengers #5

GTA IV mod makes an Iron Man game that’s better than the original 2008 game release

Phoenix Wright Trilogy to be released on iOs

Hello Kitty rockmelons for sale in Japan

Video Game releases for this week

-          Fuse

-          Grid 2

-          Arcania: The Complete Tale

-          Painkiller: Hell and Damnation

Full Iron Man 3 review now available on our RSS feed



Direct download: Show_53.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:13am HKT

Iron Man 3 Review final - SPOILER CODE RED!!! FULL SPOILERS!

Here is our full no-holds-barred, no "beg your pardons" review of Iron Man 3.

As specified in the title, THERE ARE MASSIVE SPOILERS as we more or less deconstruct the entire movie.

Enjoy! ^_^

Direct download: Iron_Man_3_Review_final.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:43am HKT

Man of Steel, Xbox One and Kayne West’s and Stedman’s new hip hop collaboration

We still haven’t caught Kony yet, but THAT doesn’t mean we can’t soothe you with our golden barbershop voices!

Onward with the bollocks!


G Money’s impression of Anthony Mason and other unknown people

UFP is COMING TO SUPANOVA (Perth) legitimately! www.supanova.com.au

Fave album/fave movie combo!

UFP Crew questions!

-          Going back in time: Ghost Mode

-          Best comic book movie adaptations

Miguel proves that black guys can’t necessarily jump either

Everyone in Australia has seen a paedophile dance on TV (that wasn’t Rolf Harris)

It all turns into an ouroboros of vomit and shit

Kevin Durant and Ricky Gervais ACTAULLY doing something about the Oklahoma tornado

Kayne West’s new album “Yeezus” and it’s grandiose release

Kayne West and Stedman’s “spiritual union”

Yahoo buys Tumblr and we all laugh at the sad blogger pricks


NERD NEWS @ 1hr and 4 mins


New Man of Steel trailer

Arkham Origins trailer

Almost Human starring Karl Urban

New The Lone Ranger trailer

The Rock puts his testosterone fuelled hat in the ring to play Luke Cage

Dazzler joins S.H.I.E.L.D. (and should date Booster Gold but that will never happen!)

Xbox One announced to mixed reviews and a losers bouquet of crappy release titles!

C Bomb vents his spleen about “PC Gamers”

Direct download: Show_52.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:05am HKT

Miley Cyrus is the Dr Rockso of Maxim hot 100, Deadpool buys naked Bea Arthur painting and never interview 4 year olds

"Hello everyone. It's been a while..."

C Bomb talks about what he doing that stopped them from recording a drop date ago

HUGE shout out to our friends at The Boxed Whine! Be sure to check them out.

C Bomb vents his spleen at Sunrise yet again!

4 year old mayors are not newsworthy

UFP Crew Questions

-          Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

-          People saying stupid things

-          G Money’s X Men storyline picks

-          Fave albums matched with fave films

-          Joining KISS

-          UFP: Origins

-          Why we stay in AUS


House swap: Belfast/Bel Air version

Lindsay Lohan? More like Lindsay Bloat-han! Am I right fellas?!?

… And the latest in “No shit news” from UWA: Kids playing active games are better than the sedentary games!

Northbridge now the “Hip and Funky” capital of WA

Miley Cyrus is the Dr Rockso of the Maxim hot 100

If someone loses your Mercedes, don’t threaten people with huge black dildos

Deadpool buys naked Bea Arthur painting

Rebel Wilson is now horrible every week!

NERD NEWS (@ 1 hr and 1 min)

4 more DC cancellations: Dial H, Demon Knights, Thresh-hold, Legion of Super Heroes

James Robinson leaves DC

Next Bond films possibly to be taken over by Christopher Nolan

Zombieland TV series “Heckeled to death”

Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Toxic Avenger remake

Superman Unbound review

New Riddick trailer

Gambit and Red She-Hulk to end shortly

Boom studios putting out a new Robocop title by Frank Miller

New Warriors set to return

Doctor Who pretend leaked spoilers

EA won’t release games on WiiU

A guy uses the same Pokemon for almost a decade

Fake Nintendo phone looks great

Game releases for this week

Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D - 3DS

Resident Evil: Revelations - PS3X360PCWIIU

Fast & Furious: Showdown - X360PS3

Call of Juarez: Gunslinger - PC and Xbox 360

Sniper Elite V2 - WIIU

LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes - WiiU

Direct download: Show_51.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:59am HKT

Star Trek into Darkness, Raw Comedy and a $120 Egg and Bacon roll

The BIG five-oh! What an occasion!..... Ah, really who cares? 50 eps of shit talking and verbal wank ain’t no great shakes.


This is the show….


John Eats Carrots

Unfunny commentary over playing video games is in super high demand at the moment

RAW Comedy jumps the shark by becoming the comedy equivalent of “The X Factor”

Come to Australia for the sunshine, koalas and $120 egg and bacon rolls

Clive Palmer is a reverse vending machine

Zooey Deschanel forces relevancy

Good grief Charlie Brown! Stop stalking your ex!

Vin Diesel is the reason Facebook still exists


Movie Review: Star Trek into Darkness @ 50 mins


NERD NEWS @ 1hr and 5 mins

William Fichtner cast as The Shredder

Wonder Woman Earth One artwork revealed

Sample footage for Marvels’ Big Hero 6 drops

Gravity trailer

Batman Inc double issue conclusion

American Vampire Anthology

The 1000 page Archie Extravaganza

We pick our “desert island” comics

Direct download: Show_50.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:22am HKT

The Mask Vs Beetlejuice, Perth’s Ghostbusters and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Happy Mothers Day (at the time of recording)! Here is our gift as an appreciation to all the mothers out there. And if THAT isn’t a backhanded compliment I don’t know what is!

Here’s the show….


G Money is unwell and he apologizes somewhat

Talking about The Mask (because we love to be so current)

‘Home Malone’, ‘Karl Malone Saves Christmas’ and ‘Forever Malone’ will exist one day as the ‘Karl Malone Trilogy’

The Mask Vs BeetleJuice! Who would win? Vote on our FB poll!

We answer our UFP Crew questions!

  • 3D printed Weapons
  • Internet-famous cunts
  • No we don’t want a toasted teacake

Perth’s own “Ghostbusters”

The Rolf Harris molestation juggernaut rolls on!

NERD NEWS at 55mins

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. confirmation and teaser footage

The return of 24

Avengers Assemble premiere dates and cast

Ultimate Facepalm of the Week: US cinema with horrible Iron Man 3 publicity stunt

Woman gets Zelda tattoo above her “Triforce of Power”

Selling the Sega Pluto for $15,000.00


Star Trek Into Darkness game

Direct download: Show_49.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:54am HKT

Ender’s Game, Porn star wish lists and dream comic-movie castings

“It was a dark and stormy night….”

Perth might be in the shits weather –wise at the moment, which works well for us as our brains are always in the shits! (we apologize for the rain in the background!)

Here’s the show…


UFP HOTLINE: +61 434 680 837

Check out our picks for the Perth International Comedy Festival

C Bomb’s Reddit/Podcast rant

Hoping to get sponsorship from Johnson and Johnson

We answer YOUR questions and talk topics! All 16 of them!!!

Porn star wish lists

Dream castings for comic-based movies

Kids today, Tang and worst/best towns

Westboro Baptist Church and their utter fuckery

Sex with super heroines

Man of Steel will be bigger than Star Trek (our prediction)

Live action Facepalms!

Self-fulfilling prophecy: Celebrity Splash off primetime slot (because it’s utter, UTTER shit!)

Australia shall continue to steal Game of Thrones

Kid Rock to join Bon Jovi for their Australian “Three Songs Only!” tour


Enders Game Trailer

The World’s End Trailer

Tom Cruise signed on for Mission Impossible 5

Luke Evans cast as The Crow

IT Crowd special finale

Kingdom Hearts Remix for PS3

Diablo 3’s economy in meltdown

Ray Harryhausen R.I.P.

Comic review round-up:

-          Ten Grand

-          Suicide Risk

-          Superior Spider Man

-          X-Men Legacy

Direct download: Show_48.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:20am HKT